An Idol of My Heart-A Confession

Ever since I was old enough to know what marriage was, I wanted it. I daydreamed about it, my Barbie dolls always wound up getting married and living happily ever ater, I thought up fun little "dates" to go on with my husband some day, and at around 16 years old, I began to pray for my future husband. I've always been told that marriage is a good thing to desire, and I believe that is so true. But somewhere along the line, I became so obsessed with the idea that it became an idol in my heart. It became something that took up my thought life and replaced my satisfaction in Jesus Christ.
About six months ago, I began asking God to show me the idols of my heart and to help me crush those idols so that Christ would be central in my life. These prayers were prayed a bit half-heartedly, because my thought was "O I don't worship idols, I wouldn't do that." But God took my prayers seriously and proved my thoughts to be very wrong indeed. He showed me that I was finding satisfaction/purpose in the idea of being married someday and that my joy was based upon the status of that. It was a painful process that God took me through to show me these things and perhaps it wouldn't have been so painful if I hadn't been such a slow learner. Only recently has the pain really began to heal and I've been able to see some growth come out of it. Through the pain I have learned so much of what Christ has done for me and have been shocked by the Gospel again and again. God has opened my eyes to see that I have EVERYTHING in Christ Jesus, no matter what earthly things/relationships I don't have here on earth. He has shown me that He is my Heavenly Bridegroom and that His love is all the love I will ever need. Praise God!
Now, keep in mind ladies and gents, that this mindset is not an easy one to hold on to. The wisdom of this world tells me something totally different and I still struggle sometimes with being content and finding all of my joy in Chirst. But God is faithful even when I am not. Praise the Lord!
So, to my brothers and sisters in Christ, please pray for me and know that I am praying for you as well.

"For in Him dwells all the fullness fo the Godhead bodily and you are complete in Him who is the head of all principality and power." Colossians 2:9-10

P.S. What I am not saying in this post is that I don't want to get married anymore....just sayin. :d